G.I. Joe

Note: This is an archive post originally from my Tumblr account, originally posted in April 2010

What a waste of time that was. Watched the film last night and it just wasn’t worth the time really… I’d say I’m disappointed but I had a feeling it might be a bit shit, I just didn’t really realise how shit it would be. The characters have no real depth to them and are all utterly predictable. Brilliant-at-everything-soldier who is love and has a tragic past with one of the baddies? Check. His-not-so-brilliant comedic friend who falls in love with the only girl in the G.I. Joe team? Check. Her hating-him-then-quickly-loving him? Check. I’d go on but I can’t be bothered to type them all out. The characters are just pretty two-dimensional and stereotypical.

The visuals were quite pretty and it had a lot of action scenes which were pretty good (if unbelievable - but what do you expect?) but you can tell it was made for kids with no regard to the older audience.

The storyline of the film was so predictable, down to the majority of the twists. I think there was only 1 that vaguely surprised me, but it came with a rubbish explaining away that really ruined that surprise. The ending was rushed too and unbelievable - the baddies just give in really and let themselves be captured. They’re locked away, the bad-girl-turned-good is sent to a special prison cos she’s being ‘controlled’ and the good guy promises to be with here always (ugh) and we find out that one of the baddies is now impersonating the president, setting it all up nicely for a sequel… Unfortunately.

Basically, it was just a terrible film, and don’t watch it if you want to watch something with any kind of depth.